LGBT: Living Out Loud… At Last!


In honor of the recent ruling in the United States (even though Canada paved the way a decade ago), I think it only appropriate to add my two-cents-worth about the legalization of same-sex marriages in North America. I am not one to throw my hat into the ring in an effort to be controversial, but I do strive to provoke thought on topics where the masses hold strong opinions on one side of the fence or the other.

When one of my paternal uncles came to Canada, he put his savings towards opening a modest delicatessen/dine-in eatery and, as a family, we spent almost every Saturday there. To this day, I still crave the giant “Moon Crater” cookies they sold. The deli was a very popular place and we watched the community begin to morph into the hub for LGBT residents. Well, they didn’t have that cool acronym in those days, it just became known as “the gay neighborhood.”

On one visit (when I was about six or seven years-old), my mother took me to the ladies washroom, only to back right out the door stuttering, “Uh-uh… we’ll come back.” I couldn’t understand why, because both stalls were empty, and there was just one woman standing at the sink touching up her lipstick. I didn’t question her though, but simply asked, “Mommy, why does that lady have chest hair?” She became visibly flustered by my innocent query, and found some way to distract me from pursuing the topic any further (probably offered me another moon crater). I still laugh when I think about it. My poor, awkward mother.

I went on to spend a lot of time at that restaurant, and subsequently bussed tables there as a teenager. Being around that dynamic never bothered me and, from a very young age, I seemed to have a very logical understanding of why these folks marched to the beat of a different drummer.

I’ll tell you right now, I do believe in God. I do not believe that we were created in petri dishes. If you are not able to accept that I’m going to tie God into this topic, then I suggest you stop reading now.

One of my other uncles is gay, as is my dear friend Carlos; they both share one more thing in common (something that many people in the LGBT community know all too well)—they hid who they were for too long. Both of those men were married to women, and eventually left them for men. The funny thing was, I always knew that each of them was gay, and really couldn’t wrap my head around why they were married to women. However, after some time, they both came forward and showed us their true hearts. Well over a decade later, they are both still happy in their respective long-term relationships, and Carlos actually just got legally married to his beloved Julio.

Now here’s where I talk about my take on why we have both hetero and homo varieties in our species. Wow! That sounds really dorky. I feel like I’m making comparisons about milk in the dairy case at the supermarket. Oh well, welcome to the world of Veronica.

I make the most amazing meatloaf. One of my bosses came for dinner one night and went so far as to refer to it as “sex” in his mouth. Yes, my meatloaf is fargin’ awesome. Despite how loved my meatloaf is, I like to change it up occasionally because I get bored easily. What are the results? Multiple amazing meatloaf creations—each with a new twist on the original. I am the goddess of the meatloaf world… just like God is the, um, well… God of this world.

I don’t know how God’s meatloaf would taste, but He sure does make an awesome variety of living things. Some are, in my eyes, abysmal failures like murderers, racists, and earwigs; but for the most part, He creates some cool stuff. You have to admit that the animal kingdom alone is one that leaves most of us in awe. Let me lay out some examples of the varieties of “meatloaf” that God has created:

  • Crayfish, Komodo dragons, shovelhead sharks, and some species of wasps, are asexual and do not require a mate to reproduce
  • Parrottfish have both male and female sexual organs
  • Clownfish change from male to female
  • Hawkfish are able to change sexuality from male to female and back again
  • Male seahorses are the ones to get pregnant.

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Honestly, the list goes on and on about the fascinating creatures on this planet. So if all of the creatures on this earth are said to have been created by God, why are we so narrow-minded to think that He’d stop at garter snakes and hyenas when it comes to His variations of “meatloaf?”

I grow very weary of hearing the ignorance of those who say that non-heterosexuality is just “a choice.” They think that people wake up one day and say, “Hey, I think I’ll wear my yellow socks and be a lesbian today.”

The bottom line, in my eyes, is that people need to stop looking at the LGBT community with only eyes of sex.

“Eyes of sex.” What do I mean by that? What I mean is that you don’t picture your aunt Doris and uncle Henry knocking boots on their kitchen table, so why do you do it for same-sex couples? Why don’t you view them as the committed couple that they are?

Why does society only focus on their sexuality and not their humanity? Why can’t we stay the hell out of their bedrooms and love them for the gifts that they are?

Why does Caitlyn Jenner have a gazillion followers on Twitter, and I don’t? I know I don’t have a gold medal from the Olympics, but that’s only because they don’t have a meatloaf-making relay yet. If they did, I’d be the most celebrated person on the planet; and my posture would suffer from all of the gold medals hanging around my neck.

Why does the LGBT community have to have parades just to make themselves noticed? I’m pretty fricken’ awesome and no one has thought to throw a parade in my honor.

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Why is that?

Wait!

Why do we have to refer to them as “members of the LGBT community?”

Why can’t we just refer to them as “people?”

Why can’t we just all come to the realization that each and every one of us is a friggen’ miracle?

Why isn’t that enough?

The bottom line, in my eyes, is that God does not make junk.

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