The 5 Love Languages at Christmas

Trying to think of what to get the person who has everything? Or maybe someone who is difficult to shop for? I might have a great gift idea for you to bestow upon your partner/spouse (or even child).

If you keep up with my blogs, then you know I am a big fan of The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. For those of you who are not familiar with the book, it details five ways that we express our love to one another. You might not even realize what “language” you are speaking.


Although I highly recommend that you purchase the book, if you would like to determine your love languages in advance, click here and take the quiz. Also, in order to make the following gift, you’ll need to have the gift recipient take the quiz as well.

  1. ESTABLISH YOUR PARTNER/SPOUSE’S LOVE LANGUAGE: Not only will you find out where you two differ in your love languages, you’ll be able to start learning to “speak” the languages that are important to your loved one.
  2. BUY A 12-MONTH CALENDAR: Something they would like, not something that appeals to you. Avoid bikini or firefighter calendars—those might skew the message a bit—unless each month is a photo of you. (I’m trying to help you strengthen your relationship, not make their mind wander.)
  3. PICK A DAY OF SIGNIFICANCE: The date of your wedding, their birthday, a child’s birthday, etc. A day of significance for both my husband and I would be the date we met, and married.
  4. OBTAIN GENERAL SUPPLIES: Colorful paper, glue stick, Scotch tape.

Now that you have all of your supplies, this is where the fun begins.

  1. Make 12 small envelopes that will fit in the calendar’s date box.
  2. Write out 12 cards to go inside of each envelope. Each card should be an item that speaks your partner’s main love language.* There must be one very special card though, and that is to be given on the actual day of significance. Here are some examples:
    Words of Affirmation: Tell them things you don’t verbalize enough: You make me so proud to be your wife; I never imagined I could be married to someone as amazing as you; I love watching how you help our children grow into strong and respectful individuals.
    Acts of Service:
    Take away some of the chores that are usually their responsibility: 10 days exemption from cleaning up the dog poop; 2 car washes; 5 days free of any meal preparation.
    Receiving Gifts:
    Small gifts like: Movie tickets, free coffee coupon, or the first clue of a fun scavenger hunt that will end with a unique and meaningful gift.
    Quality Time:
    Think of things your partner likes to do (maybe things you don’t do enough of together): Bowling, feeding ducks at a lake, going to a nauseum museum, watching football, mani-pedi (note the “man” in manicure), batting cage, etc.
    Physical Touch:
    Now you’re talkin’ my main love language! Back massage, scalp massage, the day of one hundred kisses, the night you go to bed early and…
  3. Tape each envelope on the date of significance for each month. If you’ve chosen your anniversary (e.g.: March 18th), then you would place them on the 18th of each month.
  4. Lovingly wrap the calendar.
  5. Watch the love between you two grow over the next 12 months.

* If your partner has two (or even three) love languages that are the most dominant, then mix it up throughout the year—but leave their main love language gift for the actual anniversary date of significance.

This could also be done as an advent calendar for future years, but seeing as December tends to be the busiest of all months, I think you’d be grateful to spread it out over a year instead.

The holiday season doesn’t have to be about buying the best gifts the mall has to offer, it’s a season to cherish your loved ones. And you know what? You can even find out your children’s love languages at the same site. How amazing would it be for them to have a special surprise to look forward to from mom and dad?

Very few people ever say, “My most memorable Christmas was the year I got an Easy Bake Oven.”

It’s the moments (not the stuff), that stay closest to our hearts. “My most memorable time was how my mom and I would dress up like elves every year, and bake Christmas cookies together.”

Happy memory making!

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