A year wiser, or just wrinkly and delusional? 4

It’s been quite a while since I put fingers to keyboard and shared with everyone, but life detoured quite drastically for my husband and me.

So I thought I’d start off 2017 by admitting the dumb thing I did to launch my new year…

I aged another year.


Don’t ask me what I was thinking, but I did it again. I got a year older. You’d think I would have learned by now to avoid that day (and the wrinkles and effects of gravity that come as part of the package), but I seem to be a glutton for punishment.

Since I continue to grip tightly to the belief that I age like a fine wine, I am going to reflect on the path that led me to become “wiser” for the new year.

December 2015 found me still recovering from the virus that took hold of me the day after my septoplasty in November. My couch-ridden state forced me to do some serious soul searching. It was then I realized I no longer felt passion towards my current career, and needed to make a change to spark that life back into me.

I decided that 2016 would be the last year at my job.

I didn’t know what my plans were at the time, but I gave myself a deadline to move forward to a new chapter. And then 2016 came in like a lion with rabies…

  • January to mid-March: Became sicker than I’ve ever been in my life—more soul searching ensued during my six-week medical leave from work.
  • End of March: After spending months feeling like cack, I needed a change, and cut all my hair off. It shocked everyone, but made me feel alive again. Although I had spent the majority of my teen and adult life with short hair, I spent my eight years in Ontario doing my best to conform to the expectations of society, and how a woman should look. I feared that cutting off my locks would damage my relationship with my husband—who always freaked out whenever I would make any insinuation that I might cut off my hair. I was pleasantly surprised (and extremely relieved) that he LOVED the new look. Well… for me… it was an old look—but we won’t split hairs over that detail.
  • April: Despite the fact that my husband and I carpool, the commute to and from work was getting worse and worse. My desire to find a job closer to home became even more important to me.
  • May: During a visit with an ex-colleague, the topic of houses and property desires came up.
    • She sent me a link
    • We contacted the owners
    • Two weeks later, they accepted our offer on a property in an area that would add an additional 70km to our already 100km daily commute
    • Previously, the universe’s nudges for me to steer down a new life path were subtle, but with this new property in the works, it became an undeniable inevitability. Exit comfort zone.
  • June: Sat down with the team I support, and let them know that my time with the company was coming to an end. My extreme respect (and love) for these men, made me feel it crucial to be transparent in this situation, so they could work out how they wanted to go forward without me at the helm.
  • June: Hubby and I got inked with similarly symbolic tattoos to represent our relationship and commitment to one another. This would be my first visible tattoo.

Needless to say, at that point in the year, my peers thought I was suffering a pre-mid-life crisis:

  1. Cut off my hair
  2. Bought a farm
  3. Got a tattoo (most didn’t realize that I already have two others)

So despite the assumptions of those around me, I continued on with my year in somewhat of a nervous state of shock—but with an excitement and drive I’d never felt before. I saw the twinkle come back into my eyes at the prospect of my yet-to-be-discovered adventure.

  • June to August: Finished renovations in the current house, and prepared to list it.
  • September: Listed and sold the house in a week. Let the packing and job hunting begin!
  • September to mid-November: Focused on, what quickly became, a frustrating job search. Ontario just didn’t seem to like me.
  • End of November:
    • Interviewed with a company whose goals and needs filled my requirements:
      • Closer to home
      • Stirred a passion in me that made my palms sweat.
    • Decided that, after six solid months of busting my ass for the move, I was tired. Handed in my official resignation without a job secured. Scared? Nervous? No. Not really. There was a peace in me. It was time for me to walk away.
    • I prepared to start living my life with passion. 2017 would be “The Year of Passion.”
  • December: Three days before Christmas, I accepted the position at the palm-sweating job to begin on January 9th.
  • December to now: More soul searching. But what do I want for myself outside of a traditional job? This is where the “getting wiser” part comes in.

Stay tuned for the next installment…

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4 thoughts on “A year wiser, or just wrinkly and delusional?

  • Heather Pearson

    Best of luck with all of it, though I write that and think luck has nothing to do with it in many ways; you’re making things happen alongside luck (or lack of it) and that’s the trick, I think.

    I cut my hair off about two and a half years ago now. It has been such a portal for insight. At work, people started taking me much more seriously. In my personal life, observations about my sexuality became a thing – this was both hilarious and achingly mind numbing and seems to be enduring. As a feminist writer this has provided a lot of fuel for my fire. We focus so much on the detail of what makes ‘feminine’ women attractive/succesful, etc. and all the onus is on the woman, in that. Take away some of the cues of femininity and the focus shifts to questioning society. Why are builders less likely to try and rip me off if they think I might be a lesbian? Who was all that hair really favouring, anyway?

    You’ve made me realise I may have more to write on that 😉

    All the best for a passionate 2017. x

    • Veronica Post author

      Oh Heather! You made me laugh, but in such an “I can relate” kind of way. Ironically, even though I was mistaken for a boy/guy with my short hair when I was younger, I feel more feminine now than I ever have. Maybe that comes with the rings around the trunk of my tree (age). I feel more fierce, sexier, and more in control than I ever had in all my life. Whoddah thunk? I’m a gramma-force to be reckoned with now, and am doing my best to devour the life that I’ve been given. Stay fierce, lady!

  • Cindy

    Veronica, you’re so brave. I admire that you took a chance on this adventure. I also went through the same process but I didn’t ever think that I would be able to just walk away. Thank goodness, the company did me a huge favour and took care of it for me. Now, I am going to have a career that I want, not that I need.