Phil & Kay: A modern day love story


How I have longed to write about romance and relationships again! Well, I can’t keep it in any longer. The hopeless romantic in me must bust her way out on this rainy, overcast evening.

For those who have read my book, you may recall my belief that there is someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately, though, that someone doesn’t always come along in our planned time-frame, or even via the method of delivery we’d hoped.

Maybe you’re like I was—a retread—and you’ve got the “been there, done that” collection of t-shirts and paraphernalia, including the damaged heart and soul that comes with that experience. Maybe you’ve sworn off of love.

Today, I beg of you—don’t give up on love. Just be patient, and let it happen when it’s time.

With my plea to you, comes (of course) a story. I hope you will join me in a glass of wine tonight as I spin my tale. My tale of Phil and Kay.

Phil was someone who helped lift me up and begin to repair my shattered soul. His kindness, generosity, and honesty, slowly made me realize I was worthy of finding a man who deserved me. When I did meet the man of my dreams, it was Phil who gifted me with my wedding dress. Phil and my daughter were the only ones I wanted at my wedding, but, unfortunately, due to a variety of reasons, we made the difficult decision to have no one at our wedding.

Within a year after my wedding, Phil met Kay and I saw him come alive again. They lived life out loud through travel and having many social nights with their close friends, and bought a home together after about a year. Then they settled into life as a couple, and I had the opportunity to watch the romance of Phil and Kay flourish through the eyes of Facebook. I was happy that he found someone he could share his passions with (even if one of those things was—gag—Eucre).

Fast forward six years from when they met, and I found myself sitting at their wedding—yesterday, actually. My husband and I were part of the privileged few to be invited to witness their lives officially becoming one.

Although I do my best to keep those I write about as anonymous as possible (hence the pseudonyms for folks like Phil and Kay), I must take some liberties today. I described Phil in my book, but I would be remiss if I didn’t give you a visual of Kay.

Kay is an raven-haired, olive-skinned, European, in better shape than most 20-year-old athletes, and is always perfectly put together. I think it would be safe to say, that Phil probably feels 10-feet tall when he is by her side. Bottom line is that Kay always looks amazing. So, I didn’t expect anything less on her wedding day. What I didn’t expect was to have my breath taken away.

I saw her in the reflection of the glass before anyone else, and I immediately became overcome with emotion. She appeared in the doorway on the arm of her grown son, and reminded me of a 1940’s Hollywood starlet. Her elegance, grace, and beauty was only enhanced by how emotional she was. She was doing her very best to keep herself together, but her emotion was what made her even more beautiful.

Do you ever see a bride and think, “It’s too bad she didn’t…” or “I can’t believe she wore…”? Well, I can guarantee that those thoughts did not enter anyone’s mind yesterday. She looked perfect. She would be the envy of any bride.

The ceremony was light, sincere, humorous, and… well… perfect. It was all perfect. There was one thing missing though—3/4 of their parents. Both Phil and Kay lost their fathers, and Phil’s mother was just not in a condition to attend. My heart hurt that they weren’t there. I know how much it hurts me that my father never had the opportunity to meet the man I should have been with my entire life. There was, however, something that occurred the night before our wedding that made me realize my father was actually going to be the only one with us during our ceremony. Well, something similar occurred at Phil and Kay’s wedding, and I’m not sure either of them realized it.

The day was overcast (perfect for wedding photos), but the forecast had been threatening rain all day. Collectively, we crossed our fingers for them. After the exchange of vows, they sat and signed their registration. What I don’t think they noticed was that the clouds parted right above them, and a ray of sunshine shone down at the exact moment they legally bound themselves to one another.

I believe in my heart of hearts, that it was both of their fathers. I became overcome (again) with emotion.

I decided to write this today because I was so emotional yesterday, I could not string more than three words together. Oh gawd… here it goes again. Ugly-face crying.

As we departed the venue yesterday, I asked the DJ to play “At Last” by Etta James for our friends. That was our wedding song, and I can’t imagine a song more perfect for couples like us, who have met later in life.

We were asked by the officiant to “hold this couple accountable.” Well, you don’t have to ask me twice.

My vow to Phil and Kay is that I will always remind them of the importance of never forgetting why they fell in love, and I will continue to pepper them with many other tasks. Some of which being:

  • Fight for each other—not with each other
  • Treat each other as though you are being watched
  • Keep it simple, sincere, and respectful (easy to remember: KISS’R)
  • When you feel you can’t be sincere—fake it until it’s real again

There is so much more I could say, but I will save it and use it as my inspiration to get back up on my romantic horse again and start to write more often.

Phil and Kay, my heart explodes with joy that you have found each other. Please don’t look behind you and say, “I wish we could have met sooner.” You met at the exact moment you were intended to—the moment you were ready to give yourselves completely to one another.

From this day forward, love with purpose, love with veracity, love with all your hearts.

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