A Retrospective Weekend

I must admit, this past week kicked the feathers out of me, and I didn’t know if I had it in me to muster up a few hundred words to write this blog. But after a selfish day yesterday of no social media or household responsibilities, I figured I could take a stab at it.

Yesterday was comprised of a morning dip at the beach for the pups and my granddaughter, a nap with that same little girl, and then a lazy day of defiant chore avoidance by both my husband and me. We lounged with my daughter on our backyard patio for hours just chatting, laughing, and soaking in the beauty of watching my granddaughter discover the many magical places of the garden my green-thumbed husband has spent years cultivating. Our day wrapped up with dinner out and a leisurely walk at the beach with the whole clan (including the furbabies, of course). It was a day of rejuvenation and bonding for all of us. A day well spent.

After a week filled with copious amounts of work at my day job—work I would normally handle without even flinching—(this time it came from so many different directions that I felt like an octopus being tugged in eight different directions) I realized that my old brain might not be up to this kind of octane-fueled multi-tasking anymore. I think I am on data-overload, and have noticed that my memory is slipping a lot lately. I did my best to keep my sense of humor for those around me, so hopefully I faked it enough that I didn’t leave anyone worse off for knowing me.

Although the workload left me emotionally spent at the end of each day, it wasn’t that which got me down—it was the negativity. I was hit with so much negativity in almost every area of my life last week that it left me in a bit of a state of shock. I know I should go into more detail here so that, maybe, I can help someone who had an equally crap-ass week, but I really don’t want to. I really want to be done with all of it and move on. I allowed it to rob me of my creativity and emotional progress for the bulk of the week, so I need to shed it from my psyche so that I can sleep peacefully tonight.

As I sit here, my beloved is out cycling and enjoying the start of his Sunday with fresh air and private self-reflection. I am flanked by two beautiful dogs whose lots in life are to find joy and food whenever and wherever they can. Once my husband returns, I will cook us a wonderful breakfast, and we’ll enjoy our meal in the peace of our backyard. Bacon and eggs, toast, homemade hash browns (yes, totally from scratch—not a bag), freshly ground homebrewed cinnamon coffee, and a gorgeous man by my side. How could my day get any better? Seriously, when bacon is involved, how could anyone possibly be sad? Mmmm bacon…

I must admit that for about half of my day yesterday, I felt a sense of guilt that I wasn’t tweeting, working on my new novel, or investigating how to achieve my desired goal of becoming a full-time writer. Then I got over it. I drove from the beach to pick up my daughter, and brought her back to our house for some long-overdue family time. With the three most important people in my life surrounding me, I left my phone in the house on the breakfast bar and allowed it to keep the week’s layer of dust company. I unplugged.

I will semi-plug back in today, but not totally. No Twitter or Facebook (except to post this blog), no Instagram, no nuttin’. Just a day for me to indulge in immersing myself into the world of the novel I am writing. A world I love escaping to whenever I can. The process is slow for me, and not just because my life is so busy, but because the story of my main character, Lia, is one that is so vivid to me that I allow myself to get completely swept up into every emotion she is experiencing. I can smell the air she is breathing, feel the breeze on my face right with her, feel the goosebumps from the joy she experiences, and feel my heart ache with her hardships. My only hope is that, as I write through blurry eyes during Lia’s tough times, my future readers will feel as much a part of her story as I do. Will my words allow them to see, feel, and smell everything she does? Will they be able to escape whatever their day has dished out and just live and love her the way I have grown to after only a handful of chapters? I hope so. I hope I can do right by her future readers.

Today, I dedicate my time to nurturing my new friend Lia. Allowing her to develop into the woman she is meant to be so that her story will fill the hearts of many.

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